Active Listening
There are different ways to listen but when your child comes to you, you need to listen with understanding. This means to understand what your child is saying to you without interpreting, questioning or advicing.
To show that you have understood, you reflect back what was said to you. The extra bonus is if you could pinpoint the exact emotion your child is feeling and reflect that back.
Fill in this sentence when you reflect what your child is saying to you: "You're feeling ___________ because _____________."
Think back to a time when you were talking to anyone and you kept repeating yourself. You kept saying that sentence over and over again. Did you feel that you were heard? Chances are you didn't that's why you kept repeating yourself. What would have stopped you from repeating yourself is if that person you were talking to had reflected back to you what you were saying. If only they had said, "You're feeling ___ because (and repeated that sentence that you used.)".
Actively listening is to actually listen to what your child is saying, not what you think he or she's saying and certainly not what you think he or she needs to hear. When you do this, your mind is not listening to his or her words, your mind is thinking about how to respond to your child's words.
Today's challenge action is to listen actively by reflecting back to your child what he's feeling and saying when he's having a conversation with you.
When you have done this then come and join me on my private Facebook group 'Better Parenting Challenge' where we can have a group discussion on today's action or anything about parenting.
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