Ramadan Parenting Challenge Day 27: Don't Be Angry

Ramadan Parenting Challenge 2014

Those who spend (in Allah's Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers). (Qur’an 3:134)

There are different types of anger. You should feel anger when you see disobedience to Allah and oppression of others. The anger that you must control is your reaction to petty things and personal anger, what is done to you.

Abu Huraira reported that a man came to the Prophet (s) and said, “Advise me” He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not become angry” The man repeated [his request] several times and he [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not become angry”. (Bukhari)

Everyone must learn to control their anger, which is easier said than done. But when you can control your anger you will have become a stronger person. This is because it takes a lot of discipline to not react when in anger. Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle (s) said, “The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.” (Bukhari 73:135)

How do you control your anger? There are several ways. The first is to say “Authu-billahi-minashaytanir-rajeem.” Narrated Sulaiman bin Surd: While I was sitting in the company of the Prophet, two men abused each other and the face of one of them became red with anger, and his jugular veins swelled (i.e. he became furious). On that the Prophet said, "I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Shaytan.' then all his anger will go away." (Bukhari 54:502)

The second is to change your position. If you sit rather than standing then you are less likely to carry out an action in anger. Similarly, if you lie down then you are not likely to react. The Prophet (s) said, “If one of you gets angry while he is standing, then he should sit down, and if he is still angry, then he should lie down” (Reported in Abu Dawud and Ahmad)

A part of family life is that from time to time your children will make you angry. When this happens seek refuge with Allah from shaytan then go and sit or lie down. Once you have calmed down then you can rationally deal with the situation.

Challenge for today is to:

1. Not get angry.
2. If angry, say “Authu-billahi-minashaytanir-rajeem” and go sit or lie down.

Do this and continue to do so for the rest of Ramadan.