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| Ramadan Parenting Challenge 2014 |
To
have mercy is to have compassion or forgiveness towards someone whom it is
within one's power to punish or harm. And Allah is the most merciful of all: O
My servants who have transgressed against their souls! Do not despair of the
Mercy of Allah for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful. (Qur’an 39:53)
Prophet Muhammad (s) who was merciful, as he was sent as a
mercy for everyone (Qur’an 21:107), has told us to be merciful, “He who does not show mercy to others,
will not be shown mercy." (Bukhari)
The
most powerful incidence that demonstrated the Prophet’s mercy was what happened
at Taif. He (s) went to tell the people of Taif about Allah but they insulted him
and threw stones. Not only was he hurt physically but emotionally as well.
Allah then gave him the choice of retaliation by destroying the People of Taif
but the Prophet (s) chose not to. It was within his power to destroy them but
instead he forgave and continued to invite them to Islam until they accepted.
Most people
who have been abused mentally and physically would have instantly taken
revenge. Allah says: And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah. (Qur’an 42:43)
Whether
others apologise or not you need to be forgiving. Take Prophet Muhammad (s) as
an example. Be forgiving. So when your children do something wrong, forgive them
and teach them. Communicate to them what they did (the wrong behaviour), why it
was wrong and hurtful (the effect it has on you or others) and what they should
do instead (correct behaviour). Notice that this is the same format as when
asking for forgiveness. It focuses on behaviours and empathy not on blame and
name-calling.
Teach
children to be forgiving as well and not hold a grudge. Teach them first to communicate
their upsets by saying, “When you (wrong behaviour), I feel/it made me (how it
affects the child). Next time, could you please (correct behaviour) instead.” Next,
have them release the anger. Remind them that Allah says:…and when they are angry,
forgive. (Qur’an 42:37) Teach them to repeat the mantra “When I am
angry, I forgive.”
Challenge
for today is to:
- Be forgiving. Communicate your upsets.
- Teach your children to be forgiving. Teach them to communicate their upsets.
Do
these and continue to do them throughout Ramadan.
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